Life Without Coffee
by Lara Ashleigh Lords
Summary: When Hathor comes up with an April Fools joke, run away fast, unless you want a repeat of this.


Challenge #50   
Ok. This story MUST have all of the following:   
  
1. Daniel being the bad guy. (It doesn't matter if he is doing this out of free will or not.)   
2. If he is possessed by something, it CANNOT be a Goa'uld .   
3. Hathor is involved somehow.   
4. It doesn't have to be a happy ending, but Daniel can't die.   
5. There HAS to be a really big fight between Jack and Daniel. (It doesn't matter who wins.)  
  
Submitted by Moiya   
  
LIFE WITHOUT COFFEE  
  
The alarms went off in the SGC. General Hammond, Dr. Fraiser, Jack, Sam and  
Teal'c all rushed to the gateroom. The iris was failing and there was nothing  
anybody could do to stop it. The source of it could not be traced. There was  
no signal. There was no anything, except a half-eaten doughnut. Don't know who  
left that there but if you ask me, they should clean that up!  
Hathor stepped through the gate. Jack tried to run away fast but the door was  
locked and anyway, Teal'c was in the way. Hathor signalled SG-1 towards her.  
"I have a plan," said Hathor. A smile creeped onto her face. " Tomorrow is the  
1st April, April fools day. How about, just for fun, we steal all of Daniel's   
coffee?" Sam looked at Jack and smiled. Jack looked at and Teal'c and smiled.  
Teal'c looked at the wall, confused. He didn't get it. Doesn't matter, he's   
going along with the plot anyway, if he likes it or not.  
So, that night Jack, Sam, Teal'c and Hathor all crept about into Daniel's   
appartment. Jack took the coffee from the kitchen and gave it to Hathor who   
threw it in the dustbin.  
"Erm, sir," started Carter. "Wasn't that just a little bit too easy?" Does she  
always have to be like this?  
"I do believe we still have to get Dr. Jackson's coffee cup," said the Jaffa. He  
was beginning to get the hang of this strange custom. What a good boy, Teal'c!  
Well done!  
Jack went crepping into Dr. Jackson's room to see him, as he expected, clutching  
his beloved coffee cup, Henry. Jack slowly went to pinch his coffee cup when  
Carter opened her big gob.  
"With all due respect, sir," started Carter. "Do we really have to take the   
coffee cup as well?"  
"Of course we do idiot!" yelled Hathor and this was the start of a great battle  
that almost ruined the plan. Jack was busy trying to calm them all down. This  
left Teal'c feeling abit left out. So, just to make everybody feel a bit better  
he decided to get Dr. Jackson's coffee cup himself. He prodded the sleeping  
Dr. Jackson until he woke up.  
"Dr. Jackson, I am afraid I must take your coffee cup away from you," said the  
Jaffa. He was feeling somewhat sorry for Dr. Jackson. But, what the hey? Daniel,  
who wasn't really awake, gave up the coffee cup gladly. "Thank you very much,  
Dr. Jackson." At this point, Jack O'Neill noticed what Teal'c was doing.  
"Teal'c, what are yo doing?" said Jack O'Neill, to put it bluntly.  
"I have taken away Dr. Daniel Jackson's coffee cup, O'Neill," said the Jaffa,  
pointing out what everybody could already see. Jack was just about to congratulate  
Teal'c when, horror of all horrors, Daniel began to wake up! Hathor and Sam  
quickly jumped out the window. Don't ask me how they lived. They just do, ok?  
Jack quickly ushered Teal'c out and then left himself. This came all too late  
because at that very moment, Daniel opened his eyes and saw Jack leaving.  
  
The next day at the SGC was awful! Jack arrived at normal hours when he noticed  
something was odd. There were no guards, anywhere. Sam, Teal'c and Hathor who  
were right behind him also found this very weird. They walked silently down  
the corridors. Where ws everybody? Then, they heard the cry...  
"No, please, Dr. Jackson! Not the herbal tea! Noooo!"  
There were many screams and then they heard no more. Jack crept around the   
corner to see Daniel all dressed in black. He could pass as Darth Vader any  
day. Daniel suddenly raised his arms up in the air and yelled:-  
"Where is my coffee?"  
Jack gulped. Perhaps they had gone a bit too far. He turned around to see   
about getting help from Teal'c, Sam and Hathor but they had already left. They  
may be confusing but they aren't stupid, you know? Jack felt a slight tapping  
on his shoulder. He turned around to see Daniel Jackson.  
Jack tried to think of something to say but his throat went dry. He tried to   
escape but Daniel's iron grip already had him held still.  
"Whoa, Danny boy!" said O'Neill. "Have you been working out?"  
"Yes, I have," said Daniel, suddenly a lot calmer. This didn't last too long.  
"WHERE IS MY COFFEE?!?"  
It was then suddenly, for no reason what so ever, Jack O'Neill's and Daniel's  
clothes changed. They were now dressed all oriental style. Daniel began to  
circle Jack and Jack did the same.  
AN HOUR LATER  
Daniel was still circling Jack and Jack was still doing to same. Suddenly,   
Daniel grabbed the herbal tea and throw Jack to the ground. And, oh yes, their  
clothes went back to normal as well. Daniel, feeling his victory was too easy,  
decided to kick Jack a couple of times, just to make himself feel better. Jack  
slapped Daniel to make him stop. He wished he hadn't because it was then when  
Daniel trusted the Herbal Tea even closer to Jack.  
"WHERE IS MY COFFEE, JACK?"  
"Er, happy April fools day, Daniel!" The herbal tea got closer. Daniel kicked  
Jack again. Jack punched him back. The herbal tea got even closer. Jack   
could smell it. Rosemary. The worst of it's kind. How could Daniel be so   
heartless?  
"WHERE IS MY COFFEE, JACK?"  
"Alright! Alright! Hathor's got it!"  
"Oh! Thanks Jack!"  
Daniel suddenly stood up again. He went to leave the room but suddenly turned  
around and trusted the herbal tea down Jack's throat.  
"No!" cried Jack. "Ack....." Daniel jumped up and down and did a little victory  
dance while singing "I won!". He did this until Hathor entered, with coffee.  
"It is mid-day, my beloved," said Hathor, offering him the coffee. "You may  
have your coffee back now." Daniel raised his hand to grab the coffee cup. He  
would have taken it if Teal'c hadn't of noticed something.  
"O'Neill!!" screamed Teal'c entering the room. As he ran in he hit Hathor. There  
was an awful crash.  
"Noooooooooooo! It's the herbal tea for you!!!"  
  
By Lara Ashleigh Lords  
  
  



End file.
